Abe is a big boy, in fact, he's over 14 lbs now and 24 inches long. That's 90th percentile in height and in weight. Sometimes I look down at this lovely little chunk and wonder how I gave birth to him. After all, I'm on the small side. But mostly I smile a little self congratulatory smile at myself because I am pretty much entirely breastfeeding him. Sure there's a random bottle here and there, but that's kinda rare. It's pretty much all mama. Now I know that most of my readers are breastfeeding advocates and I am in no way saying that I'm doing something unique and amazing. But, for me, this is a big milestone because the first couple of weeks of Abe's life really had me doubting I could EVER make it this far with breastfeeding. I'm talking sore raw bleeding nipples. Crying, cursing and dreading feeding him each day. It was horrible.
I remember telling my friend Kate that even though I strongly believe that it's completely an individual choice, I had always secretly wondered why women didn't breastfeed. Feeding Anna had gone really well and so I had falsely assumed that it would be the same with Abe. Now I think I probably had a bit of a condescending attitude because I just couldn't see why some women hated it so much. Sure it was hard, but it was worth it and it is so good for your baby.
Then I had Abe and suddenly I knew exactly why others had headed straight for the cans of formula. If this experience had occurred with my first child there is no way I would have continued breastfeeding. I stayed committed to this only because I knew that it could be great or at the very least tolerable.
And now... now I've got 14 lbs of baby to look at and feel proud about. I don't know how long I will continue to breastfeed, but I'm very glad I stuck it out. There is something so wonderful and peaceful about feeding Abe.
Sweetheart, you are worth it.
5 comments:
Love this post. Very honest and so true.
I agree - there is a sense of pride that goes along with exclusively breastfeeding your baby. Well done, Maggie!!! Oh, and I LOVE this picture of Abe... those big eyes and red hair - such a handsome little man!
Congrats to you, Maggie! I know it was such a rough start. I am so happy to hear that it's going better for you now. Breastfeeding can be great, and breastfeeding unfortunately can be awful for some, and I think few people have the perspective to see both sides. Good for you for seeking the support you needed and having the resolve to make it work.
And I completely know what you mean- I look down at June's little thighs that are visibly more rounded out than last week and think, I can't believe that all of THAT came from ME!
long-winded me here again to add:
if it's any comfort, you are not alone in the cursing, crying moments. i can remember Georgia being probably less than a week old, and joe holding her out like, um, I think she needs to eat, and me practically sobbing like, please, take the baby away! that's SO not good or healthy for anyone, when breastfeeding causes you to practically *resent* your own child for simply needing to eat! I'm not proud of those moments, but on the other hand, I know why I had them. lucky for me, I went on to have an overall great breastfeeding experience with georgia, but your post is a good reminder that it doesn't always work out so well for everyone.
Yay Maggie! So glad you are back to blogging again. I was missing me some Abe and Anna. He looks great and so big already. I agree with everyone that your insight and honesty is very much appreciated. I had an easy time with Elisa and have been wondering how #2 might go. There is no guarantee it will be easy, but I will think about your success and call you when I'm cussing him/her out. Okay, maybe not in the moment, but for support...you know. :)
Post a Comment