If you can't beat 'em

Actual conversation a few weeks ago:

Abe: AAAAHHHHHH (angry scream, hitting the table with his fist) Downstairs at the dining room table
Me: What, Abe? Use words. I don't know how to help you... Upstairs, cleaning up the bedroom

Abe: I need you to get me that marker off the floor...
Me: I am not coming down to pick up your marker off the floor.

Abe: Well, mom, if you don't get it... and I don't get it... then.... we'll just have to MOVE.


And the funny thing is... I kind of understand his point. Because there are some days when, Ohmygoodness, I don't have the energy to pick up that marker/dried up food/sock off the floor.

And I contemplate what it might be like to just let it sit there... FOR-EV-ER... To pick up in the night and leave because I've somehow come to the point where I simply can't pick that thing up again. You get this, right?

I think we all get this feeling periodically. Whether it's a "thing" or a thought or an emotion.. We just can't look at it any more. Surely someone else will take care of it... an adult, a grown up.

The reality that I am the adult still seems to hit me sideways. That I am the generational point person for virtually everything. And that what I model will impact how Abe and Anna will treat this stage of life also.

What do I model each day? That weighs on me when I sit in bed at night.

I'm finding the idea of having models and mentors for stuff like spirituality and even family and home management and motherhood very intriguing. These online networks and blogs I visit regularly are essentially filling that role and it's one of the things I love about the internet.

Yes, I know that they can also be a time suck, but I value them so much. I don't apologize for spending time reading them. They really help me along the way.... how about you?